My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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