New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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