is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
