Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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