I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
