I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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