i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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