I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
