dude i'm inner monologue high
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
