We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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