I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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