The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
These tits shall not be calmed
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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