if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
