Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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