Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
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my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
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I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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