smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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