sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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