My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize