Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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