i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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