now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
