yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
3pm strippers are depressing
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
