"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
