laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize