I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
