I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize