Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
