So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have fence marks all over my body
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
