Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
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