Me. At least after what I've been through.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
