Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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