u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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