I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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