lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
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My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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