what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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