Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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