in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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