Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
