kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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