even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
