She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
