dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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