no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
