ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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