totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize