he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
