Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
