I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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