OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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