i will never coherently bang her
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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