Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
not ubering you a puppy
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
