Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
