The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize