Its about making memories worth repressing
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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