Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
